<dreaming aloud>

27.6.05
...
cucayucay
11:03 午前

when you look into the mirror and you begin to cry your sad eyes meet the reflection of a wasted life boy dont you think its a sign that you should trun around? leave the darkness and put it aside? try to realize that everyone can change.

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21.6.05
thougths on being eaten
cucayucay
9:52 午後

there is nothing more painful than being eaten by a shark.

ultra sharp razors of teeth, of death,

tearing your skin apart, cuttting through your bones like a milllion knives.

and after that, you are washed further into the big fish's oblivion with you own blood.

but the painful thing is not the masticating, the swallowing...

it's knowing that after this superb feast, it will always be hungry for something else

and you will be its past, forgotten and smelly, in the form of feces.

shark feces at that.

o! what a terrible thing to be eaten by a big angry fish!

there is nothing more painful than being eaten by a shark.

there is nothing more painful than being eaten by anything at all.

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the one about limit.
cucayucay
9:28 午後

everytime i visit you i am reminded of the limits that life has set for us, the walls of imperfection we are amidst of, the unfairness of it all, and why. and like all answerable questions, i,too, have come up with my own. When we are given limits, the first thing is the end of that limit. that cruel vicious end of that limit. and since limits are lmits,no extensions, no delay, we make the most of our time because we foresee an end. This end inspires us to seize time lest it be gone forever, cherish it now because like all things that fade, time, too will fade without us noticing it and it will pass without us as it always does. limit teaches us to value. life, friendship,love, even hate... everyone is 'limited'. everything is limited. life on earth, as we know, is not eternal. perhaps we are cut short of the beautiful things so we will remember how beautiful it had felt when it occured...

Being far away from someone we so want to be close to is painful. even more when we need them by our side. but what have i said about limits? there is a limit to everything. a limit to the distance. a limit to the pain... and like all wounds that cure, like all bruises that heal, so shall the pain subside. there is a limit to time. but rmemeber there is a purpose for that. maybe the most beautiful of all things cannot be held forever. rather, they are grasped only for a limited time so that they can remain beautiful, and that its beauty never forgotten. perhaps the most beautiful things stay in our memories so when they come again, everything will feel brand new. kind of like finding something youve searched for for years. but you know what the truth is? they may be far, but they were never gone. in fact, they live with us everyday.... in the deepest crevices of our hearts, in the innermost strand of our memory... where we can have them forever. no limits. no distance. no time. but forever. just forever. in that beautiful perfect cycle of forever.

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2.6.05
talo :c
cucayucay
1:10 午後

just watched the nba west finals at the pagaduan's house. the suns lost. :c stoudamire was amarezing (heheh get it?). duncan and of course...

steve

nash!

c: haha. it's okay, everyone was a sport about it. plus the spurs are good and i like them, too. so that's fair enough for me. go go go!

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W E L C O M E

If you are a dreamer,come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hope-r, a praye-r, a magic-bean-buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in! -shel silverstein

think

When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn't make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better.'It's all right' we whisper, 'I'm here, I love you.' and we lie: 'I'll never leave you.' For just a moment or two the darkness doesn't seem so bad." - neil gaiman

maybe everyone out there is a liar. and maybe the whole world is stupid, and ignorant. but I'd rather be in it. -susanna kaysen

Two paths diverged into the wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. - robert frost

we don't read and write poetry because it's cute. we read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. and the human race is filled with passion. and medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. but poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. to quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless--of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." ...that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. what will your verse be? - professor keating for dps

do not believe anything you hear. no matter where you have read it or no matter who have said. even if i had said it. as long as it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - buddha

music 1

...jai guru deva om, nothing's gonna change my world nothing's gonna change my world nothing's gonna change my world nothing's gonna change my world...- the beatles for across the universe

...color the coast with your smile its the most genuine thing that ive ever seen i was so lost, but now i believe...-dashboard confessional for carry this picture

...i said ive gotta be honest, ive been waiting for you all my life. for so long i thought i was asylum bound but just seeing you makes me think twice. being with you here makes me sane i fear ill go crazy if you leave my side. youve got wits youve got looks youve got passion are you brave enough to leave with me tonight? ill be true ill be useful ill be cavlier ill be yours my dear. and ill belong to you if youll just let me through. this is easy as lovers go, so dont complicate it by hesitating, this is wonderful as loving goes this is tailor made. whats the sense in waiting? -dashboard confessional for as lovers go

...that one last shot's a permanent vacation and how high can you fly with broken wings? life's a journey, not a destination and I just can't tell what tomorrow brings It's amazing, with the blink of an eye you finally see the light It's amazing, when the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright It's amazing, and I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight... -aerosmith for amazing

See the stone set in your eyes See the thorn twist in your side I wait for you Sleight of hand and twist of fate On a bed of nails she makes me wait And I wait without you With or without you With or without you Through the storm we reach the shore You give it all but I want more And I'm waiting for you With or without you With or without you I can't live With or without you And you give yourself away And you give yourself away And you give And you give And you give yourself away My hands are tied My body bruised, she's got me with Nothing to win and Nothing left to lose And you give yourself away And you give yourself away And you give And you give And you give yourself away With or without you With or without you I can't live With or without you** -U2 for with or without you

I took my love, I took it down I climbed a mountain and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills til the landslide brought it down Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? Well Iâve been afraid of changing cause iâve Built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And Iâm getting older, too Well Iâve been afraid of changing cause iâve Built my life around you Time makes you bolder Even children get older And Iâm getting older, too I get older, too I took my love and took it down I climbed a mountain, I turned around And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills The landslide brought it down The landslide brought it down-fleetwood mac for landslide

C U C A Y

~.hello i am francesca my name is beautiful but never used i am anything your mind permits me to be if not then youve yet to see i am fantastic i am real and most of the time i am screaming inside this shell i am francesca rosella paÃ±o pagdilao love me or leave me alone.~

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voice

(: ***

music 2

bam bam
barbie's cradle
I wanted the fire of the city And the safety of home I decided that i would still love me When my youth is gone I've many things in my mind Oh so many kinds But may your voice be the one That i easily recognize What i wanted was too big a dream But i got you and i have everything Whatever you say i say go And we run all the way If you wanna stop let me know I will stay where you will stay My heart is burning inside From the things that you say It's a pity what happens to night At the coming of the day What i wanted was too big a dream But i got you and i have everything**

...and I wonder when I sing along with you if everything could ever feel this real forever if anything could ever be this good again... - foo fighters for everlong

hands down
dashboard confessional(jik.i agree)

breathe in for luck,breathe in so deep, this air is blessed, you share with me. This night is wild, so calm and dull, these hearts they race, from self control. Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine, we're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all. My hopes are so high, that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery, which ever you prefer. The words are hushed lets not get busted; just lay entwined here, undiscovered. Safe in here from all the stupid questions. "hey did you get some?" Man, that is so dumb. Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear... so we can get some. Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember, I'll always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late and this walk that we shared together. The streets were wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it, and I let you in. And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it. And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it, and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it.**

there's no combination of words i could put on the back of a postcard no song I could sing but I can try for your heart our dreams, and they are made out of real things like a shoebox of photographs with sepiatone loving. Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart like why are we here? and where do we go? and how come it's so hard? it's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving i'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together
...And there is no song I could sing And there is no combination of words I could say But I will still tell you one thing, We're Better together. - jack johnson for better together

so will it ever be? ive tried so hard to find sweet serenity are you still afraid just close your eyes and dream the feeling fade away time wont flow everyone knows when the pain fades away dreams wont die, tears in our eyes youve got to hold your head up high. hold your head up high its taken some time and ive given off the will to change your state of mind im trying to understand its not so hard to see that i am just a man ...so will it ever be? ive tried so hard to find sweet serenity im trying to understand its not so hard to see that i am just a man-the speaks for high